Ode To The FCC

Whenever I consider offering my collection of poems for publication I wonder who my audience would be. I immediately know that some wold not be for all, such as today's offering. I wrote this poem a couple of years ago to be read at the Dell'Arte adult Cabaret. I have always loved words and the play of words and have been a lifelong fan of George Carlin. This poem attempts to delve into the hypocrisy of censorship.

Ode to the FCC
By Henry David Rosso
Dedicated to George Stop This Shit Bush
And Dick Go Fuck Yourself Cheney
Who was it who said, words are a plaything for me?
A news anchor was fired for using niggardly.
If the leader of China has a weakness, is it a chink in his armor?
Can we have a gay time without having a gay time?
Queer used to be counterfeit money.
A female colleague said she would give us a bust in the mouth
We laughed, said OK
She changed it to a crack in the teeth.
We laughed again.
Can the guy named BJ smoke a cigar?
Can we really stroke our fellow employees?
Do we need to find another term for sperm whale?
Do we need to be careful when referring to someone as a thespian?
What about someone who is bilingual?
Do we need to explain when we say the soprano was flat?
Must we be careful when talking about getting off,
Getting lucky, getting some, going down?
Will we ever again be able to refer to barnyard animals as ass or cock?
My ass is in the barn with my cock
My dog is a bitch
And do you enjoy playing with your pussy?
Do we puncture a finger, rather than prick it?
(Sorry, George Carlin)
Must we arrive instead of come?
Do we number things 66, 67, 68, 70?
Must erections become structures?
Can we say someone is a cunning linguist?
I guess nobody refers to a cigarette as a fag anymore.
Do we need to find another word for rubbers?
"Galoshes" is really bad.
What about Virgin Air, Greek islands, Broadway?
Will we have to make a clean breast of the use of the word breast?
Breast stroke, breastwork, breast piece
(breast: to face or meet firmly)
The oral majority spawned Oral is Moral
If we can say in public BM, bowel movement, caca, doo doo and No. 2,
Why can’t we say shit?
It all comes from the same place.
We can say, it’s really gonna hit the fan.
Can farmers hire hoers for their fields?
So, can’t say shit
Can’t say piss
Can’t say fuck
Can’t say prick
Pull your honey to you
Look into her eyes
And whisper:
First, I have to doo doo and wee wee
Then I’ll put my member in your flappy lips