Beginnings of Ends

This was written to someone special at 1:49 a.m., March 28, 2000.


Beginnings of Ends
By Henry David Rosso
You sent your last e-mail,
Saying you had to pull yourself together.
I stayed for a while longer, waiting to see if there was more from you.
There wasn't and the room closed in on me
The computer looked so meaningless.
Without you to banter with,
To talk serious with,
To joke with,
To exchange moments of the day with,
To just talk with,
This tube takes on a whole new meaning,
Not nearly what it was cranked up to be.
When you leave, it loses its life.
The light stays the same, the icons are still there,
But you are not there
And it just doesn't have any meaning,
Any purpose.
Yet, I don't want to turn it off,
Even knowing that, yes, you really have gone to sleep,
When it is on, I still feel connected to you.
Christ, I hope I don't start stroking it!
But when the computer is turned off,
Our connection is lost.
Except.
Except that connection that remains in our hearts.
There's no plug for that.
There's no wall switch.
That connection goes downstairs with me
And back upstairs
And to the store with me
And to bed with me
And wakes up with me.
That connection is always there.
It doesn't need an outside source of power.
It doesn't need a cord or an extension or sunlight or batteries.
It generates itself.
And it receives an extra burst of energy
When the woman I love is back on line
Or on the phone
Or with me in person.
Or when I am not connected to any of those things,
She is in my heart and in my memories
And she generates me
And warms me
And thrills me.
Love is so powerful.
It can build us up and tear us down.
It can make us powerful and it can make us wimps.
It can give us goose bumps and bring tears.
Smiles. Frowns. Concern.
It is so good when we are together.
And when we are apart we must make ways to be together.
If it is good, we must make it work.
If it is good, we must bring us together.
If it is good, we must keep it alive,
Nourish it,
Guide it,
Direct it,
Point it toward ourselves
And wrap it around us to protect us,
Warm us,
Comfort us.
And we must always think positive.
Think each day that we are going to "be with" each other,
One way or another.
When we get up and see the sun in the morning,
We don't get upset because we know it is going to set
And put us back into darkness.
When we have a great meal,
We don't get sad, because we know there will be a last bite.
When we sit by a big campfire and enjoy the flames,
We don't get upset because we know it is going to go out.
When we go to a great concert of our favorite music,
We don't get upset because we know it will end.
We enjoy the music and the dinner and the fire and the sunshine.
And that is what we are going to do with each other.
We are going to live and love and enjoy and be happy
And smile and laugh and feel and bring joy to each other
And make each other happy and share our life
And our words and our smiles and tingling feelings
And our moments of quiet togetherness.
Stay with me, Sweetheart.
Love me.
Feel me.
Share with me.
Live our lives in whatever togetherness we have at the moment.
You know, we all die. That's no reason not to live in the meantime.
I love you.